Sucks to Be Me Read online

  Now, however… She went to the window and peeked through the side of the shade. Fairly overcast, but patches of blue were visible. Dare she risk it?

  For that new marine-blue cashmere sweater with matching skinny jeans? Yes, she dared. But she’d be smart about it. So, dressed in leggings, hoodie with the hood up and well over her face, and sunglasses, she went downstairs again and opened the garage.

  She stood there for a moment, staring into the daylight.

  It wasn’t far to go. She’d jump into the car, drive it into the garage, and be done. What would that take? Thirty seconds, tops? Less with her speed? And most of the time, she’d be in the car, which would provide protection. Keys in hand, she dabbed the button to unlock the Benz, then crossed herself and dashed out into the open.

  She cringed as she broke into the light, expecting searing heat or pain or something to shoot through her nervous system and let her know she wasn’t supposed to be out at this time.

  But nothing happened. She wasn’t about to stand there and test her good luck, however. She yanked the car door open, pushed the start button, shoved it into drive, and got the car into the garage before something changed and she burst into flames.

  Once in the safe zone again, she leaned back and exhaled. Her heart was pounding, but it was quickly slowing to normal. Why hadn’t there been any pain? At the very least, she’d thought there might be a few visible wisps of smoke coming off her.

  But there hadn’t been a sign of anything amiss.

  She got out of the car and walked back to the line of demarcation between the shadows of the garage and the brightness of outside. Could it just be because the sun was hidden behind some clouds? Was that enough protection?

  It would be nice if overcast days were safe. New Jersey had a lot of those during the winter.

  She’d have to ask Claudette about what constituted dangerous levels of UV exposure. Because Donna realized she’d done something pretty stupid before she’d known about this vampire thing.

  The rest of Joe’s cash, more than four million of it, was locked up in a safe-deposit box in a bank that did not have evening hours.

  Major vampire fail.

  She stood there for a moment longer, looking outside. The urge to tempt fate was strong.

  In a burst of impulsiveness, she pushed her sleeve back and stuck the tips of her fingers into the light.

  Nothing happened.

  She reached farther, putting her whole hand out.

  Still nothing.

  It made no sense. Was the UV risk cumulative? Like could she handle a few minutes, but after ten she’d combust? She didn’t have time for more tests, Rico was on his way. But she would find time soon. Because she had to get to the bank, somehow, eventually. How amazing would it be if she could go out during the day?

  She grabbed her shopping bags, chastising herself for not keeping more money handy as she closed the garage door and went upstairs. But there was a spring in her step. Her life would be a lot easier if she could get outside while the sun was up. She wouldn’t be greedy. There’d be no sunbathing. No showing off. Just running errands. Basic necessities. Things like that.

  She smiled all the way through her quick shower. Afterward, she added a touch of makeup and changed into a new outfit. Then she was ready for Rico. So. Ready.

  Even if he wasn’t interested in her, he was nice to look at.

  She took her empty coffee cup and went downstairs. She was tempted to test the outside again but didn’t. No sense in getting crazy and accidentally setting herself on fire. She stayed by the door to watch for him, though. Her plan was to open it before he rang the bell. A little insurance to keep from waking Claudette.

  He was punctual, as always, showing up again in the plumber’s van.

  She let him in with a smile. “Good morning. Well, afternoon for you.”

  “Afternoon. How are things?”

  She closed the door. “Interesting. I have some—”

  His nostrils flared, and he looked toward the upper floor. “There’s another vampire in the house?”

  She nodded. “Yes. My sire. And I’d really like her to remain asleep.”

  “Got it. Sorry, what were you going to say?”

  What had she been about to say? Things to tell him. Right. She’d start with the one he’d probably find the most interesting. “Big Tony was here last night.”

  Rico’s brows shot up. “What happened? You look all right. Did he survive? You didn’t kill him, did you?”

  She wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not, but she went with kidding and gave him a yeah, right look. “No. But Claudette showed up and used her vampire powers on him to get him to answer some questions truthfully.”

  Rico nodded. “Good use of that skill. What did you find out?”

  “Basically, Big Tony was behind the ambush, but it wasn’t his plan for me to be killed, just kidnapped so he could find out if I was talking to the feds, something he suspected because Joe also apparently suspected that.”

  “How?” Rico frowned. “We’ve been very careful.”

  “No clue.”

  “You’re sure he was telling the truth?”

  “Under Claudette’s spell, I have to assume so. He claimed there was fifty thousand dollars in that duffel bag, so whoever took that money is the person who wanted me dead.” She gave him a meaningful look. “I think that’s Lucinda. I guess it could also be Vinnie, but it’s a known quantity that Lucinda hates me.”

  “I have accounting looking into her finances. So far they haven’t come up with anything that isn’t also tied to Tony.”

  “Well, I have something else for you to look into.” She brushed her hair back from her face and gave him her second bit of new info. “I think I’ve come into one of my extra vampire powers.”

  “Oh?” Rico’s interest seemed piqued.

  “I get snippets of people’s memories when I drink from them.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Is this about Yuri?”

  She nodded. “Yes. I didn’t understand what I was seeing at the time, but now I do. And I saw Yuri with Joe and Lucinda. The two of them must have made a deal with the Russians.”

  “That’s pretty heavy stuff. If they were going behind Big Tony’s back…” He thought a moment. “What could they have been up to? Just a deal? I don’t think Lucinda would have risked so much for a simple deal. It had to be more.”

  “I think so too. But how much more?”

  “That’s my job to figure out. Maybe those ledgers will help. Speaking of, I should get the rest of the stuff out of the stash room.”

  “Right. Come on.” She led him back to Joe’s office, then opened the bookcase to give him access. She sat on Joe’s desk while Rico started bagging things. Instead of coming right out with her third thing, she decided to test the waters. “Have you ever heard of a vampire who can walk in the sun?”

  He was crouched down. At her question, he leaned back on his heels to look at her. “Do you know one?”

  “Don’t answer a question with a question. Has it ever happened? That you’re aware of.”

  “I’m not exactly a vampire expert, but yes, I’ve heard of it. It’s rare. Takes all kinds of things aligning at the time of turning to make it happen. Pretty sure the Immortus Concilio would want to know if there’s a vampire who can do that.” His gaze was pinned on her, like he was watching her for some telling sign. “So would every pack leader I know.”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  “Pack leader? As in werewolf pack?”

  He nodded. “Your kind have the council, witches have covens, fae have courts, we have the pack. Packs, really. Each state has one, but there are smaller, local ones inside each bigger state pack. And then US werewolves as a whole are considered one pack, as are those in Europe, the United Kingdom, and so on.”

  “Good to know there are also witches.” She held up a finger. “Just as an aside, my sire is the vampire governor of New Jersey.”

  His brows lifted. �
��Good for you. Politics was never my thing. What I deal with in the bureau is more than enough.”

  “I hear that.” She tipped her head. “Can I ask why the pack would want to know if there’s a vampire who’s immune to the sun?”

  He stood, his gaze growing more serious. “Think about it, Donna. A vampire who can daywalk isn’t constrained by the normal perimeters of vampire natural law. What else might that vampire be able to do? The trouble a vampire like that could cause… It wouldn’t be good.”

  What else might that vampire be able to do? Walk on sacred ground, for one. And Claudette had already told her that was a rare thing. Could the crucifix be what was making her sunproof too?

  When she didn’t immediately respond, he turned toward her fully. “Is it your sire? You can tell me.”

  For what reason? So he could report the info to his pack? She had enough to worry about with Claudette and the council. Suddenly, Rico didn’t seem like quite the ally she’d thought he was. Not in vampire matters at least. She shook her head. “No.”

  She didn’t say anything more, just pondered his words. What could she say? Hey, I don’t think the sun has any effect on me? Not now. Not after what he’d just told her. She finally shrugged. “I’m still learning all this. I was just curious.”

  “I get that. It’s got to be hard not being able to go out during the day. I have to say, that part might make me stir crazy.” He went back to work. “But then, maybe it wouldn’t. We run at night. So I’m not exactly all about the daytime either.”

  “Mm-hmm.” She couldn’t shake the feeling his response had given her, though. The feeling of being alone again. And wishing she’d never gone to that cemetery. The thought that she was immune to the sun’s harmful effects had seemed like such a good thing. Now the weight of knowing that such a vampire would be considered a threat—information she wasn’t even a hundred percent sure of—felt like a suffocating blanket.

  Every new day of being a vampire just made things worse. What was next? The council would want to see her? She was registered, after all. Why wouldn’t they come knocking? Was that even a thing? Home visits? She really hoped not.

  With a sigh, she pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, pressing her forehead against her knees. She closed her eyes and prayed for the strength to get through this. Maybe she should go see Cammie. Tell her everything and let her impart some words of wisdom.

  At least Cammie would have her back.

  A warm hand touched her shoulder. “Hey, are you all right?”

  She looked up into Rico’s deep-brown eyes. “I don’t really know. Being a vampire is even harder than being married to a mobster.” She sniffed. “I didn’t ask for this.”

  “I know.” Genuine concern filled his eyes. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. But look on the bright side. Tony and his crew are pretty powerless against you now.”

  She nodded. “I suppose that’s true. But having you put them away would accomplish the same thing. And protect my family.”

  “I will. It’s just going to take longer. And with you being a vampire, I don’t have to worry about you so much.” He smiled. “Just them.”

  A partial smile was all she could manage. “Thanks.” It was nice that he worried about her, but he had an end game, and without her, that game would be lost.

  “It’ll get better.”

  She held on to her little smile for him, but she wasn’t sure she believed that platitude at all. “Do you like being a werewolf?”

  “I do. But then, it’s all I’ve ever known.”

  “Oh, that’s right. You were born into it.”

  He nodded, then tipped his head. “Do you want me to ask around and see if there are some other vampires you can talk to?”

  She shook her head. “No, but that’s kind of you. I have my support group. What I’m dealing with now is just stuff I’m going to have to work through on my own.”

  “Okay. If you change your mind, let me know.”

  “I will, thanks.” The doorbell rang, making her jump. If that woke Claudette up, she was going to kill whoever it was. Figuratively. She hopped off the desk.

  “Expecting someone?”

  “No.” Then she remembered she was. “Actually, I am. A blood delivery. I should let you work anyway.”

  She went to answer the door. The delivery man was dressed in jeans and a black polo shirt with the Lakewood logo on it. Could have been for an HVAC company or insurance, but she supposed that was the point. A logo that clearly said “vampire blood-delivery service” would get a lot of odd looks. She opened the door.

  A black cooler, also bearing the Lakewood logo, sat at his feet. “Delivery for Belladonna Barrone.”

  “I’m Belladonna.”

  He held out a small tablet. “If you could just sign.”

  She scrawled her name on the line with the stylus, then he picked up the cooler and handed it to her. “On your next delivery, we’ll exchange this empty cooler for a new full one. And you don’t have to take your delivery during the day. We can come anytime.”

  “Thanks, but this worked out.”

  “Well, we don’t need you to sign now that we have your signature on file. You can just leave the cooler in a designated spot, and we’ll pick it up and leave the new one in the same location.”

  She nodded. “Good to know. I might do that.”

  “Just let the office know what you’d like.”

  “I will. Thanks.”

  He gave a little wave and left. His car was a nondescript blue compact SUV. She could just make out stacked coolers in the back through the tinted glass.

  How many other deliveries was he making? And how many other vampires lived around here? She probably couldn’t guess, because if they didn’t go out during the day, she doubted she’d seen them much.

  She shut the door gently, then took the cooler into the kitchen and set it on the counter while she made room in the fridge.

  There was a lot in there to clean out. Especially now that food wasn’t her main source of nutrients anymore.

  She pulled the trash can over and got to work. Didn’t take long, because most of it was funeral food, and she was done pretending she was going to eat any of it. Besides, it all just reminded her of Joe and her human life.

  Somehow, that seemed so far away now. Even though it had only been a few days.

  The trash can was filled in about five minutes. So was the sink—with dishes to be washed and returned. What a pain. But she’d get them done. Returning them would be harder. She unloaded the cooler, which also contained a slip of paper with directions for heating if a warm product was desired. She put that in the junk drawer for later, because cold blood didn’t sound all that appetizing. Then she stacked the thick plastic bags on an empty fridge shelf.

  She glanced at the cooler and thought about what the man had said about deliveries. Maybe she’d return all the dishes at night. She could leave them on people’s front porches with a note of thanks.

  That would be simple enough. And it would come with the added bonus of not having to talk to anyone.

  She smiled as she hauled the trash bag out to the receptacle in the garage. She brushed her hands off and stared into the three other bays that held Joe’s Cadillac Escalade, his vintage Ferrari, and his black Mercedes that matched hers.

  All three were getting sold. It was just one more thing she had to take care of. But the cars definitely had to go.

  She glanced at her Benz. In fact, she was going to sell hers too. Then she’d buy the car she really wanted. A Tesla. With windows tinted as dark as the law would allow.

  Staring at the car reminded her of the duffel bag with the cut-up newspaper. She went straight back to Joe’s office. “Did you find any of Lucinda’s prints on the bag from the drop-off?”

  Rico came out of the stash room with two paper bags tagged as evidence. “Not that I’ve heard. I’ll check when I get back to the office, though.”

  “Thanks.”
>
  “You know she probably wore gloves, if she was involved at all.”

  “I know.”

  He lifted the bags he was holding. “I have to put these in the truck, then I’ll be back for the rest. I’ll have the room cleared out today.”

  “Excellent. Do you want me to help you carry anything out?”

  He made a face. “Into the daylight?”

  She realized her mistake and laughed it off, shaking her head. “I haven’t adjusted to the whole no-sun thing yet.”

  He smiled and headed for the door. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you turn yourself into ash accidentally.”

  “Thanks,” she called after him. But she rolled her eyes at her slipup. She had to be more careful. She couldn’t have Rico thinking she needed to be reported. But would he? Sure, she could see him reporting Claudette. A sunproof vampire governor would be something. But Rico needed Donna. At least until all of this with the Villachis was over.

  She sighed. She didn’t know what he’d do. Rico was a rule follower. That was sort of a big part of being an FBI agent. It would be better for her to keep her mouth shut and her secrets to herself.

  Then there’d be no decision for him to make.

  She left the office and went back to the kitchen to start on washing the funeral dishes. If she wasn’t around Rico, she couldn’t say anything to incriminate herself. Besides, the sun was inching toward the horizon, which meant Claudette would be up soon.

  Hopefully, her waking up wouldn’t overlap with Rico’s visit. Call it a hunch, but the two of them meeting didn’t sound like the best idea.

  She ran hot water into the sink, squirted soap in, and got busy. Out of habit, she put gloves on, but she had to wonder if the hot water would be unbearable now that she was a vampire. Did that increase her tolerance to heat and cold?

  She pulled one glove off and stuck her hand in. Very hot. But not so much that she couldn’t take it.

  Even so, she dried her hand and slipped the glove back on. No sense ruining her manicure.